Judgement Leads to Suffering, Understanding Leads to Peace

You get to decide how you want to feel.

I was talking to a friend recently about their new job. They said they were having a hard time with some of the partners they were having to collaborate with. There was not necessarily a language barrier, but an understanding barrier it seemed.

When he expressed frustration that they just didn’t seem to be able to think for themselves without a technical document, I asked where they were from. We started to talk about the fact that in some countries, children grew up being told what to think and how to figure things out through knowledge. They weren’t necessarily given opportunities to free think.

That immediately brought understanding to the conversation, where judgement once was. And I could feel the tension in my friend, begin to release. And I could feel peace come to the place where suffering had been.

I couldn’t help but think about the world and life on the level of judgement versus understanding. When we are in the mode of judgement, it often comes with ruminating. It is a clear sign of our ego voice taking the reins. The ego likes to spin tales again and again to secure its foothold in being “right”. And as it spins its tales about whatever it may be judging, it is hard to relax.

This is the suffering. When the mind won’t shut up, it creates and sustains tension in the body, and we suffer physically and mentally because of it.

If we don’t allow our thoughts to go that far, and we take a moment to understand a situation or a person that we may be judging, the tension may dissolve. Understanding brings balance and peace in our body and mind. There are no stories to tell again and again. There is no ego to affirm righteousness. We naturally relax the body and clear our mind, when we have understanding.

If you find that you are suffering in your mind right now, does it involve judgement for yourself or others? Can you flip the script that is playing in your mind, to bring about a level of understanding?

 For example, if you are judging yourself for being fearful or shameful about something, can you take a moment to understand how you got there? Can you understand that the person you were before didn’t have the level of understanding you have now? Can you forgive yourself and let go?

The same can be said for something someone did to you in the past. Can you ease your suffering, by coming to an understanding about where that person was coming from? If not them, perhaps the child version of them? I forgave my parents by seeing them as children who were traumatized, and understanding that they didn’t get the help they needed.

We are all souls in a human body. Human experiences vary greatly, but at the core of them, the feelings and woundings are the same. We all feel fearful, shameful, lonely, guilty, etc. And we all need and desire love.

When we bring peace to ourselves, it is the best gift we can offer the world. Just like judgement, anger, and blame can radiate, so can peace and love.

We don’t always have to agree with one another, but we can find peace through understanding. When we let go of judgement, we can connect to ourselves and consciousness, on a deeper level. A beautiful step in healing ourselves, and the world.