Pain Calls Upon Us To Breathe Deeper

Originally Published here on Medium.

When all we really want to do is cower in resistance.

This past Friday evening, I felt determined to finish a yard project before our friends came over to dinner. I could feel that my body was ready to rest, but my mind wasn’t having it. I lifted heavy bags of compost and dug deep holes and was done within an hour. I felt accomplished, but not great, because my body was screaming.

Tension has been on the increase in my body ever since my mom died a little over a month ago. Not only must we have time to grieve, but we also have to deal with all the tasks that come when someone dies. And if you are the one in charge of it all, it adds to the tension in subtle and not so subtle ways.

I meditate daily, and I teach Yoga, Pilates, and strength classes most days of the week. I keep myself up. Still, I don’t think I have taken truly deep breaths since it all went down. And now, like clockwork, my body has come to a screeching halt. Yesterday I was so locked up in my hips and lower back that I could barely move. Even then, I was trying to force the stretching, the foam rolling, and wincing through it all.

It wasn’t until Monday morning when I woke up and took a walk, that the whisper to breathe deeper came through, and now I listened. I know this stuff, but still, I had been resisting it. I was going through the motions, but not breathing deeply.

Our bodies cannot feel safe to let go and loosen unless we breathe deeply enough to activate our relaxation response. When we are tight and in pain, the instinct is to protect and take more shallow breaths, wince through the pain, and hold on tighter. Whether we are in physical or emotional pain, this tends to be the first instinct. Protecting ourselves from feeling more, always seems to produce the opposite effect.

The truth is, whatever we are suffering from, whether it be physical or emotional, deeper breaths will ease our discomfort. Deeper breaths signal surrender. Deeper breaths signal allowing and not resisting. Deeper breaths will calm our minds and connect us to our higher self. Deeper breaths will unlock whatever resistance we are experiencing whether it be in our bodies or our minds.

In Monday morning’s Yoga class, I opened my body up to my full capacity of breath in every pose, and in every still moment. And my body started to let go and guide me and my class in the best possibly way. My tension/discomfort in my body went from a 9 to a 3 after that, and in my mind the tension was 0.

I had the power in me all along and I knew it, I was just resisting it.

With this release in tension and ease of my pain, I recognize the load I have been carrying lately. I have gratitude for my body and how it will shout at me if I am not listening to it appropriately. I appreciate the forced slow down, and coming back to myself that I get anytime I am not being fully present with myself.

I love that vision I get of Glinda the Good Witch from The Wizard of Oz saying, “You always had the power, my dear.” I come back to that time and again when I am reminded of my ability to heal myself and offer myself exactly what I need. I need to look no further than my own breath.

We all have this beautiful ability to not only bring ourselves into presence immediately, but to release tension in our bodies. Just by taking deeper breaths. It’s okay to be reminded of that again and again. It will always be there, like your soul, patiently waiting for your alignment. Life will present us with challenging situations from time to time that may throw us off course a tad, or a mile…

But our breath is always there to guide us back.

I teach Yoga/Pilates/ and Strength classes on Zoom weekdays. Join me for a free class.