The Real Reason You’re Not Getting What You Want

How to Tell Whether Your Ego or Your Soul is Leading the Way

Is there something that you’ve been trying hard to make happen, and it’s just not working out? Have you been putting all your efforts into a goal, situation, or relationship and it feels like you’re spinning your wheels?

Take a pause and consider, that maybe it’s just not for you.

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Can you entertain the possibility that whatever you’re trying to make happen, may not be for your highest good? Perhaps the reason it’s not working out like your mind wants it to, is because it is not what your soul really wants.

Who is driving your goal? Is it your soul’s knowing – or your ego’s ambitions?

Knowing the answer to this question is the key to understanding if perhaps you may be driving down the wrong road.

If you are being motivated by something that feels expansive and exciting, your soul is likely in the driver’s seat. And each step you make will likely be met with ease and flow. You will be fueled with just the right amount of motivation and excitement. When the soul is leading, and the timing is right, it’s like everything conspires in your favor to make things happen.

When the ego is moving toward something, it tends to move in a way that is more frantic, maybe conflicted, and possibly fearful. The ego tends to paddle upstream. It forces. It wants to control outcomes. It is often motivated by outward achievement and what we think we “should” do.

Instead of thinking you are a failure when life doesn’t work out the way you want it to, surrender, that there is something even better for you that awaits. Something that may be more expansive and lucrative. Something that may be more inspiring, loving, and could lead to better things.

I have driven in both lanes.

I have been in the position of feeling like I needed to force things. I have had situations that just weren’t working out for me no matter how hard I tried. I felt shame for giving up and often ended up feeling like a failure.

That was before I understood that life doesn’t happen to me – it happens for me.

Since then, I’ve experienced situations where I simply had a joyful thought about the possibility of something, and within a short amount of time it appeared, effortlessly.

There is a big difference between being moved by the soul, versus the ego. Often the ego’s motivations are driven by “shoulds.” Like, I “should do this”, even though it deep down it isn’t what I really want.

The ego also likes to seek approval, which is usually the approval of our parents, manifesting as approval from anyone in our outside world. (Inner child wounding).

There are a joyfulness and a palpable excitement, when our soul is leading the way. It’s a different feeling. It can feel like something we must do, and it doesn’t matter who knows or approves. It is a feeling driven from deep within, like we can’t even explain it.

Trust that whatever is for you, will meet you with the greatest of ease, if you open and allow for it. But if you are driving in the wrong lane or trying to force things to happen “your way” (controlled and ego driven), it is a much more difficult route. And is often, a dead end.

Mostly, because your mind is trying to make it happen on its own terms.

Your Soul, and the Universe (God/Source) share wisdom that your limited human mind is not privy to.

This is why I say “Your soul has the map to your best life.”

My ego mostly controlled the map of my life for my first 40 to 45 years. I was never quite satisfied. I always felt like there was something else, and if I could just make this one thing happen – everything would work out. It never quite did.

When I finally understood how to align with my soul self, through a daily meditation practice, I had things come to me that I could not even imagine for myself.

It is possible to do what you love, to live as you love, and have everything that is for you unfold, without having to break your back to make it happen. In fact, working hard to make something happen, isn’t usually the soul’s way.

The soul is all about being the vibration of what you want for life. Your soul is already in the right vibration, so all you need to do is practice being aligned with your soul.

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We get there by imagining how we want it to feel. For instance, how would you want a relationship to feel? How would you want your perfect home to feel? The perfect job?

Spend time every day practicing the feeling of how you would want your best life to feel. Write it down in a journal – whatever you can imagine a perfect scenario might be.

Taking time to feel grateful for what is going well in your life, will also help you align with your soul. Love the ones you love. Appreciate all you can appreciate. Soon, your soul will magnetize for you even more to appreciate.

Allow things to unfold without letting your limited thoughts try to control the outcome.

Your body will offer you cues to let you know what path you are on. If it’s an intense struggle and your body feels tight, tense, and constricted – pause. Breathe. Check in.

If your body feels expansive, light, excited, hopeful and joyous – you are with your soul and on the right path.

You don’t have to work so hard to create the life you want, get the relationship you want, or to live well. All you need to do, is dedicate time each day to alignment with your soul. This will put you in the right place at the right moment, for whenever you need to be.

Trust that your pathway will unfold with the greatest of ease. And what is meant for you, will always find its way to you – if you are open and available to receive it.