Whatever You Dwell Upon, Grows

Changing Our Focus, Can Change Our World

There is a lot of fear, negativity, and darkness about right now, and I would expect that as it seems to be the focus everywhere. It seems that it has been the focus everywhere, for quite a long time.

I am a firm believer in the notion that whatever we focus on, gets bigger.

I heard the line almost 30 years ago, from motivational speaker Brian Tracey, “whatever you dwell upon, grows”.

And it hit me so hard.

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I remember I was sitting in the Learning Resource Center at HP, where I worked throughout most of my 20s. Whenever we had downtime, I was drawn to this motivational speaker’s tapes like a moth to a flame.

“Whatever you dwell upon, grows”. I must have written that line down everywhere. It resonated so deeply. I saw myself in that line.

I saw it when I’d allow my thoughts to get fixated on a worry and it would snowball for days and weeks. I noticed it when I would endlessly dwell on things that happened in the past.

It never felt good to me, but I couldn’t stop myself. The worried or agitated thoughts I would share endlessly with whomever would listen. And probably make their day as bad as mine.

Finally, I began integrating his wisdom. I started watching my thoughts as I was thinking them and began veering them toward better feeling things. I also did some deep healing to unravel the patterns of behavior and traumatic life moments that fostered those thoughts within me.

And life got better for me. Even amid all the gunk being brought to our attention right now as a society, and personally (in the middle of handling my mom’s estate), I am still paying attention to the joy more than the fear.

This truth has proven to be self-evident. Whatever you dwell upon, grows.

Have you ever noticed how bad things seem to happen again and again and again — sometimes people say in “threes”, which I honestly can’t stand to hear. (That is an affirmation for victimhood, if I ever heard one).

Really, this is all about the circumstances that are being focused upon.

Consider those people who can’t seem to “catch a break”. Everything bad seems to happen to them, or they are always sick.
Likewise, there are those “lucky people” who always seem to have the sun shining on them. They always have something good to say and are having good experiences and enjoying mostly happy lives.

These experiences are true for both types of people, but they are not exclusive. If you consider that you get what you expect, and that “whatever you dwell upon, grows”, you can believe both truths.

I have lived both truths. I have watched myself when I am unconsciously applying this knowing, and when I’m not.
I know that I can create my life experiences according to my thoughts about them. Good or bad. And anyone can do this.

I have watched people over the course of my life be chronically unhappy — all because of the stories they were telling themselves.

So, it is completely understandable that on a societal level, everything seems bad.

I would not pin this on social media. Society’s thoughts have been increasingly negative ever since the news went to 24 hours a day. Then came the likes of Jerry Springer, and then horror movies not just on Halloween like back in the day, but all year round.

At some point, it became addictive to our society to consume the worst of the world and humanity, and to foster our biggest fears. And then we dwell on it more when we go on Facebook, declare our stances, and have arguments that get us nowhere.

We react to the world, according to what we see. So, if we see that the world is dangerous and that people can’t be trusted and everyone is fighting, we will react in our everyday environment with that expectation.

We will create the scenes we fear, through our own fear. And by doing so, we will affirm this belief in others.

It’s hard not to wonder whether this collective societal “dwelling on all that is bad”, has not helped on some level to create it.

I’m not suggesting we all stop looking at what is happening in the world. But if we consider that “whatever we dwell upon, grows” — perhaps we could start spending more time looking at what is good in life. Maybe we could just tip the scales more in favor of the good, than the bad.

It is not burying your head in the sand if you are not focused on the war, fear, and hatred. By that logic, you would be considered burying your head in the sand if you aren’t focused on love, beauty, and the good of humanity. Both realities exist. Your focus is your choice.

We can’t change what the collective is seeing, but if within the collective, we as individuals, shift what we see, perhaps this will ripple out and create the reality we want. It can’t not.

We can change the scenes we experience by walking through our world with a belief that people are good, and that love, and compassion exist. When we move through life with that energy, our interactions with others will reflect that, and goodness will spread.

We cannot continue to walk through life reinforcing everything we fear and creating more of these experiences. Practice finding the good and reinforcing the good. Dwell upon what is good whenever you can.

It is up to each of us to tip the scales back in favor of love over hate, and faith over fear. And I have faith that we will.