When Life Lessons Circle Back, Surrender Control

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If the same scenario keeps occurring in your life, and the outcome doesn’t change, then your approach to it needs to.

There is something that I know for sure from my own experience in life, and from observing others.

Life, the Universe, our Soul, is trying to move us through lessons, so we may break patterns, learn to have faith, and experience greater ease.

Life will take us through the same uncomfortable and painful scenarios, until we learn to make a different choice, that will produce a different outcome. So, if you find you are walking into the same brick wall, with the same situation and the same frustrations, then it is likely time to surrender.

Much of the time, the biggest challenge people face, is surrendering control. We must let go of the false sense that we can control life’s outcomes. Surrendering does not mean that you are saying you want things to go bad and that you don’t care. Surrendering means that you are not going to let a situation destroy you and you are open to a better path.

We must trust that these brick walls are put in place, because there is an easier and more abundant path that awaits. A brick wall is life saying – turn right, or go left, or turn around and take a different path. Stop forcing what doesn’t feel or fit right.

The Universe, Your Soul, God (whatever you want to refer to) knows the best path for you when you stop trying to force, and “win”, at the ones you are working so hard to fix or conquer.

Surrendering means you are leaning into trust and faith in the best possible outcome. And this is what life wants from us. The flow state is found in surrender. This is where we understand that we do not know, nor could we ever know everything in our future. And this is the nature of life.

To try and avoid surrender and tighten our grip further, is to go against our nature and what is best for us, and everyone involved.

That’s why taking the wrong path feels so uncomfortable. This is why when we do, the body tightens up, and the breath quickens, and frustration builds. Not because of someone or something not going “our way” – but because we are not going our natural way.

We must learn to soften when life gets challenging. We must allow ourselves the lesson of surrender.

Because guess what? Whether you soften and relax, or clench up and stress out, the outcome will be what it will be. And the energy of your discomfort and resistance, will feed the length of time you linger in the space that you are frustrated about.

To surrender is to allow the progression of life to unfold in the best possible way.

And that can be very scary for someone who feels safest controlling all outcomes, but this is a false way of being. It may work for days, weeks, even years, but the tension of it will take its toll on the body. And at some point, life will teach you that control only goes so far.

Control is not natural. There is nothing in the world that survives and thrives from control. And neither can you.

This is why control comes with so much discomfort and tension. You are always having to look to make sure everything is just right, so that you don’t fall or hit that brick wall again. You are always on edge waiting for the inevitable push back.

In surrendering to the flow, you can loosen your grip, release the tension, and trust that any pivots in life, any “setbacks”, are taking you to the exact place you need to go.

 “Surrender is not weakness. It is the courage to let go of control and allow a higher intelligence to guide your life.” ~ David Hawkins

Here are some questions to ask yourself, if you find that you are in a  life cycle that you cannot seem to break free from…

How am I feeling in my body right now?

(Do you feel constricted and trapped, or expansive and open? Constriction indicates force. Openness indicates surrender and ease.)

What are the stories that my mind is telling me about this situation? Do they serve to increase or decrease my tension?

Blaming others is not going to help, because it keeps you in victim mode. Take accountability for your role in your situation, and/or reflect on what lessons it has taught you, that you can bring forward to future situations and create a different outcome.

Am I looking outward for others to change?

We can never expect to change others, that is for them. We can only ever change ourselves.

What role am I playing in this situation, and can I handle this in a way that will produce a different outcome?

Self-awareness and reflection is the key to breaking free from your old patterns and creating lasting change. Understand how those patterns and behaviors came to be in your life, so that you can be the observer of them instead of being them. Then you can choose differently.

How can I change the story to reflect how I would like to feel about the situation?

Align with the outcome you would like to create in your life and stop telling the same story that keeps you repeating the same scenario. Daily affirmations are very helpful.

Does it feel safe to surrender?

Sometimes our lives can evolve in such a way that it feels very unsafe to surrender. If this is the case, it likely came from a deep root chakra wound around safety and being cared for when you were a small child. This can take time to heal. Again, it is becoming aware of how this must have come to be in your life and then creating a safe space for that controlling part of you. Let go in small ways that feel safe to practice for the ultimate surrender. Or see someone who can help you identify and heal this fearful inner child wound.

Contact me if you are interested in scheduling a Reiki energy healing session, or coaching.

You have every capability of breaking any cycle in your life, learning the lessons it provided, and living a life of joy, ease, and abundance. Your greatest path awaits in surrender.