Surrender the Illusion of Control
And Joy Will Find You
When we try to control our direction in life, it’s like paddling upstream. Things are more difficult than they need to be. The mind is frantically trying to keep up with an impossible task and we miss out on the joyful possibilities, which are what life is all about.
How often can you legitimately control all or even some of the variables in your life? When you really consider this, the answer is never. We never truly have control of everything, which is why it is just an illusion. And this illusion can make us feel like failures when things don’t go “our way”.
Control is linked to root chakra trauma.
It is a safety issue. It is born from feeling that we cannot trust others. We cannot be vulnerable or surrender because “bad” things may happen. When we are little kids and can’t trust the adults around us to provide us with a safe space, or we experience heavy loss like abandonment, it can set us up for this need to control.
This is understandable. A child must do whatever it takes to feel safe.
Yet as adults, this illusion of “control” becomes a habit, and it is a false sense of security that never truly works to make us feel safe. Plus, it can block out so much joy that is available and waiting in the wings.
I used to manically try to control everything and everyone around me. And from that limited version of myself, my life was nowhere near as joyful as it is now. I was jostled around due to my perception of whether things were going my way or not. I was affected by outer circumstances to the extent that one hiccup could ruin my day.
With our ego in the driver’s seat, we are limited by all of what we learned from our parents, traumas, and the patterns we developed to cope in life. But that isn’t reality, though the ego will say it is.
When I finally surrendered into a daily meditation practice and became aware of my thoughts, I could see where they were taking me. And, that I was not my thoughts.
It was then I found the seat of the soul. My true essence. And whatever the chaos around me, my soul didn’t cling to it. My soul was always at peace. So, I threw out my “plans” and let my alignment take me where it would. And oh the joy, that is available in surrender.
The joy in being, completely eclipses the joy in achieving.
When we let go of this feeling that we know better than God for us, we open ourselves up to a much bigger and more beautiful world of possibilities. Honestly, before my regular meditation practice, I didn’t know God/Source/Universe.
When you understand that you cannot possibly control life, and surrender to that knowing, you’ll find that life will surprise and delight you.
In fact, if you look back on your life right now, you’ll realize that your most joyful moments and gifts, were not the things that you mapped out and planned for.
They were the things that spontaneously landed in your lap and took you by surprise. The things you didn’t even realize you wanted until you had them. The blissful moments you couldn’t have possibly planned.
Surrendering control is accepting and trusting that life is happening for you. It isn’t something to defend yourself against. Life is something to allow and know that whatever comes is for you, whether it is a lesson or a gift.
Any change of course that happens is for you, and if you change the way your mind sees roadblocks, you can trust this as an inevitable truth. Any attempt to control where the road leads, will just leave you blindly frustrated.
Your best life is divinely written between your soul and God/ the universe/Source. And your soul isn’t rushing. It doesn’t lead you with a sense of urgency like the manic thoughts do. Your soul is just waiting for you to sync up with it and be present and at peace. Like a soft surrender.
Stop fighting your soul/God/the vast Universe, for your limited view of what you think is best. Your soul has the map divinely written. It is time to surrender control and sync up with your soul, so that you can go to the places you’ve never dreamt possible.
Control is just a non-sensical fight within the self. It’s like trying to stop the leaves from falling off the trees.
Mother nature herself will show you how little control you have over life. In an instant, she can flip your life upside down by just being.
Let go. Realize the freedom in being powerless.